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10 Months

I'm sitting here in my empty classroom eating McDonald's oatmeal with a knife researching under-eye concealers. It's a laughable moment and one that I approach with a feeling of appreciation. I have a lot of quirks which much of the general public views as wacky and having a 10 month old tends to shine the spotlight on them with a laser light focus.
I guess I hope Georgia sees me as resourceful rather than wacky.
Oh Georgia. I realize there was life before you but it feels like it was a half-full cup and you came and filled it to the brim. Now, I try my best to be whole for you as you grow but, in the end, it's our imperfections that let in the most light.
Your Mom is not the quickest person at acclimating to changes. I mean, I had the same car for almost 18 years and just keep getting the same sandals year after year rather than going for something new (by the way, thanks Target). It took me probably 10 months to get my rhythm. I'm still getting used to the fact that I was pregnant. So thank you for your unending patience with me.
These days, I am making a concerted effort to move through my worrying tendencies so here are a few ways I am committing to that...
1. Establish time to journal each day.
2. In the midst of an anxious stomach churning moment, just breathe. Then, think of 5 things I see, 4 things I hear, 3 things I smell, 2 things I can touch, and 1 thing I can taste.
3. Reduce sugar and excess carbs.
4. Exercise in some shape or form.
5. Be grateful. Tell people when you are thinking of them, reach out, and let the joy penetrate and stay there for a long while.
Maybe you'll read this one day when you are a grown lady, if you're curious what our days were like, know they were perfect. We would wake up together and you would explore Mom's face while you  woke up, you would eat for awhile and then we would lay in bed for awhile, laughing. You loved to watch me put up my hair into a crazy bun. I would open the blinds ceremoniously and take you to get a new diaper. You would say hi to the cats and then we would go outside and check out all the trees and birds. We would play for bout an hour and then eat breakfast. You love black beans, mangoes, tofu, and blueberries. Usually you would nap and Mom would get ready for work, then we'd head to school and I would stay with you a bit before leaving. After work, I'd pick you up and we'd go home and see Dad. Then, we'd take a long walk and you'd always fall asleep in Mom's carrier. We'd eat dinner, take a bath, read stories, and gently fall asleep. Life with you is beautiful,Georgia Summit, and no matter what, the years of your existence will always be the best years of Mom's life.

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