Today I stuffed myself into a long white wedding gown and emerged onto the worn gray fitting room stage to the audience of my mom, dad, sister, and overly tired associate. It was so surreal to be in a place that always seemed like a pipe dream and I'm glad I took a moment to soak it in. I found one dress that I liked but it was almost five hundred dollars out of my price range and I just can't justify spending that much unless it's for the good of our family. We ate at a really delicious vegan place which made me feel justified to eat way too many gouda flavored Triscuits after work tonight. Then, I drove to orientation for my new job at my former district. I step back into the old school as a new woman. I'm no longer willing to give my blood, sweat, and tears while administrators bat a blind eye. I'm no longer willing to just settle for mediocrity and I have career goals and aspirations to accomplish. There is so much growth possible in every day and being a mom really thrust that into the spotlight for me. Between orientation and my night job, I decided to eat lunch at a local park. Just being in nature and allowing the water to do it's thing really was calming and slowed down my day.
I'm sitting here in my empty classroom eating McDonald's oatmeal with a knife researching under-eye concealers. It's a laughable moment and one that I approach with a feeling of appreciation. I have a lot of quirks which much of the general public views as wacky and having a 10 month old tends to shine the spotlight on them with a laser light focus. I guess I hope Georgia sees me as resourceful rather than wacky. Oh Georgia. I realize there was life before you but it feels like it was a half-full cup and you came and filled it to the brim. Now, I try my best to be whole for you as you grow but, in the end, it's our imperfections that let in the most light. Your Mom is not the quickest person at acclimating to changes. I mean, I had the same car for almost 18 years and just keep getting the same sandals year after year rather than going for something new (by the way, thanks Target). It took me probably 10 months to get my rhythm. I'm still getting used to the fact...
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